REBT Parables

These parables demonstrate the B-C Connection in the ABC Theory of Rational Emotive and Behavioral Therapy.

A:  The Blind Person

After a hard days work I was heading down the elevator of my office building.  Suddenly I felt someone viciously poking me with his or her umbrella.  I had a hard day at office and was not in any mood to take any more “inconveniences”.  I turned around to give the person behind me a piece of my mind.  I could feel the anger in me.

As I turned around I saw that the person who poked me was a blind man with his cane. My feelings of anger were gone, as the man sheepishly said: “I apologize.  I only recently lost my sight, and have not gotten used to handling a cane. I felt I must have struck somebody.”  At this point I felt concern for the person. The anger disappeared.

The point of this story is that: What I believed made me feel my anger, it certainly was not the adversity (the inconvenience of being struck).

B:  The football coach

A football coach loses the championship game.  He yells and screams, throws chairs, etc.
In another town, at the exact moment, another football coach loses the championship game with his team.  He although disappointed, remains calm and comforts his players.

What is the difference between the two coaches?
What was the first coach telling himself?
What was the second coach telling himself?

C:  Misperception

Once what appeared to be fantastically figured woman in the distance turned me on. Upon closer inspection I discovered this was just a shapely man, at which point my attraction turned to disgust.

The point being, it was not the person that caused the attraction, but my interpretation of the person.

D:  Taoist parable.

There once was a Taoist farmer. One-day the Taoist farmer’s only horse broke out of the corral and ran away.  The farmer’s neighbors, all hearing of the horse running away, came to the Taoist farmer’s house to view the corral.  As they stood there, the neighbors all said, “Oh what bad luck!” The Taoist farmer replied, “Maybe.”

About a week later, the horse returned, bringing with it a whole herd of wild horses, which the Taoist and his son quickly corralled.  The neighbors, hearing of the corralling of the horses, came to see for themselves. As they stood there looking at the corral filled with horses, the neighbors said, “Oh what good luck!”  The Taoist farmer replied, “Maybe.”

A couple of weeks later, the Taoist farmer’s son’s leg was badly broken when he was thrown a horse he was trying to break. A few days later the broken leg became infected and the son became delirious with fever. The neighbors all hearing of the incident, came to see the son. As they stood there, the neighbors said, “Oh what bad luck!”  The Taoist farmer replied, “Maybe.”

At the same time in China, there was a war going on between two rival warlords.  The warlord of the Taoist farmer’s village was involved in this war.  In need of more soldiers, he sent one of his captains to the village to conscript young man to fight in the war. When the captain came to take the Taoist farmer’s son he found a young man with a broken leg who was delirious with fever. Knowing there was no way the son could fight; the captain left him there.  A few days later, the son’s fever broke.  The neighbors, hearing of the son’s not being taken to fight in the war and of his return to good health, all came to see him.  As they stood there, each one said, “Oh what good luck!”  The Taoist farmer replied, “Maybe”.

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